The dark side of 'sharenting'

On our Instagram page, we have a regular weekly feature called 'Wednesdays Wondrous Words'. This is usually a light-hearted exploration of some of the most hilarious and peculiar words in the English language.

We chose this week’s word, ‘sharent’, because it has recently been added to the English dictionary and, on first glance, fell into the ‘amusing’ category. This brilliant blend of the verb ‘share’ and the noun ‘parent’ perfectly depicts ‘someone who regularly uses social media to communicate A LOT of detailed information about their child'.

But the more we thought about this word, the more loaded it felt. Most of us like to share the odd photo of our kids on social media. But ‘sharenting’ takes this to a whole new level. It’s referring to parents who like to broadcast every minute detail of their kids’ lives. Or what some might like to coin as ‘oversharenting’. A recent report by the Children’s Commissioner for England estimated that the average child will have appeared in roughly 1300 photos and videos online by the age of 13 – that’s a staggering figure.

Now, plenty of people will find sharenting unnecessary. They don’t understand the need to share little Freddie’s first successful visit to the potty or little Rosie’s first seamless roly poly. But it’s not something that really bothers us – if parents want to be sharents, so be it.

But the term got us thinking about the bigger questions surrounding posting about our kids on social media. To what extent do we have the right to document their lives in this way? And to what extent might it impact their lives in the future?

Once our kids have their own social media accounts, we’ll no doubt be imploring them to act sensibly, to resist posting everything about themselves, and to think carefully about what is appropriate to post and what is not. But are we taking all these questions into consideration when WE post about our kids?

According to the United Nation’s Convention on the Rights of the Child, the law must protect children’s privacy, including their communications AND reputation. When sharents post photo after photo and video after video, they are making a decision on behalf of their kids as to what they determine as their privacy. Of course, parents have the right to decide what is appropriate and what is not for their children. But in years to come, will their children be unperturbed by these actions? Or might they feel angered, embarrassed, and in some cases, even violated? Because what may seem appropriate to share now, might not seem so appropriate in 10 or 20 years time.

Kids can be unkind and unforgiving. As can adults. An innocent photo of your child in the bath could be dredged up years later and used as ammunition in the playground. Or a video that goes viral of your kid teasing an animal might seriously harm his future career aspirations in animal welfare.

And all these issues don’t even begin to address perhaps the greatest concern of all - the digital footprint left by all these exertions. Things shared online cannot be retracted. Sharents might think they have enabled every privacy setting under the sun, but it only takes one person to screengrab, save and share a post for it to become freely available to others. And what may seem like a completely innocuous post – the announcement of your baby’s birth or an image of your kid on their first day in Reception - already gives identity thieves a plethora of information about your child. Their date of birth, their school, the area in which they live. According to a report by Barclays, sharenting will account for two-thirds of identity fraud by 2030, costing hundreds of millions of pounds a year.

And that’s before we even begin considering those surfing for children’s photos for even more nefarious reasons.

This blog isn’t intended to cause hysteria. Or suggest a blanket ban on posting about your kids on social media. Quite the opposite. By exploring these issues, we’re encouraging sharents to be mindful of what they’re posting online. To recognise how much information about their children’s lives is freely accessible courtesy of the internet. And to consider the repercussions.

We’re pretty sure Belle Copy’s daughter won’t resent us in years to come for using a cute image (in our opinion) of her showcasing her early piano skills. But before we decided to post this, we found a hilarious photo of Belle Copy’s son with his face and body covered in food whilst blowing some very big, fat raspberries. It so nearly made the final cut – but on reflection, it was the right thing to do to give it a pass. It’s cute and funny and endearing right now. He might not feel that way in 10 years time. And we figure that’s his right to determine, not ours.

The dangers of 'sharenting'